First Golf Round With a Caddy: The Erin Hills Experience

Erin Hills

There comes a time in every amateur golfer's life when the opportunity to play a round of golf with a caddy presents itself. This can be an intimidating proposition, particularly if you are like me and 

 play muni and public tracks almost exclusively. The serendipitous opportunity that  came together for me, was an invitation to play Erin Hills, while visiting family in southeastern Wisconsin.  For those of you that do not know, Wisconsin is a treasure trove of golf courses, something that I never fully appreciated growing up in the dairy state; a state known for cheese, beer and offensive lineman rather than lush fairways and championship level golf courses.    

Erin Hills is located approximately 35 miles northwest of Milwaukee, WI; and was designed by renowned golf architects Michael Hurdzan, Dana Fry, and Ron Whitten with the intention to host major golf championships.  The course is majestically placed on top of the naturally occurring rolling hills, highlighted by dramatic changes in elevation, large natural grass areas, and picturesque vistas.  The design includes wide fairways, knee high fescue, brutally placed bunkers, and large undulating greens.  It hosted the 2017 US Open where Brooks Koepka won his first major and pink pants wearing Justin Thomas hit the most brassy of 3 woods on 18.

Erin Hills is a public course and tee times are accessible, however it does cost ten times the normal amount I spend on a round of golf with green fees running north of $300.  Plus, the added kicker that this is a walking course only (no push carts), so unless you are going to carry, plan on caddy fees of $55 per bag, plus a $100 tip, you know, for the caddy’s effort.  So when I was offered to play this beautiful wicked temptress of a course, it was not an automatic yes because I had to consider a few variables:

1. Is it worth it to drop $500 on 1 round of golf? And what is the likelihood my wife finds out I dropped half a grand on an morning of golf. 

2. The tee time was at 7 am on a Sunday, and about an hour away from where I was staying.  Did I want to cut my Saturday night short and commit to an O-5-hundo wake up?

3. And lastly, I never played with a caddy before; is this something I am ready for?  My game has been shit as of late, will I humiliate myself?  It was one thing to subject myself to lyme disease searching for errant golf shots, but now I would be bringing a caddy along with me into the fescue, is this even moral? 

Ultimately, I decided it would be worth it to golf this championship level course even though the thought of playing with the caddy gave me great levels of anxiety. 

I Actually Was a Looper 

The irony here is that I was a caddy one summer (in the loosest sense), it was the summer between 7th and 8th grade.  It was right after I ditched my paper route and needed to make a lil scratch to feed my after school Taco Bell habit: three soft shell tacos, fire sauce, with dr. pepper.  I am actually not really sure how I got into that job; most likely it was due to being introduced to Caddy Shack at around age 8.  However, I also saw Platoon around that same time, but never joined the Marines. Golf is now my ‘Nam. Regardless, the club I worked at should have been investigated for child labor law violations.  I used to ride my Robinson bmx style bike about 5 miles to the club at 6 AM just to get on the loop list which usually resulted in a 08:00 ish tee time, and then home just before 2 pm.  Our rate was $12 and pretty much everyone tipped $3 for an even $15; the real benevolent mofos would give us a $20.   Crunch the numbers, the job paid shit.  I actually just reran them with inflation adjusted numbers, $15 then is now about $33.  There was an added perk of being able to play the course on Monday mornings when the sprinklers ran till noon.    

The highlight of my loop was most definitely the turn.  This is where you truly saw what kind of member you were caddying for, because at the turn we would pass by the snack shack.  I had the low expectation of at the very least being offered a beverage, and that drink for me was a cherry coke, not the in the can cherry coke, but the coke out of the soda gun with the added cherry syrup; the type of drink a kid like me could only get at a wedding or now, working at the country club.  If I did not get that at the turn, my eyesight became little worse and the little bit of green reading abilities that I did have vanished completely.  The other perk at the turn was that the snack shack was connected to the pool, where I was able to get a quick peak at our local version of Wendy Peffercorn or some posh moms in their two pieces.  I guess the point of this section is that my caddy experience at the ripe age of 13 was of no value in preparing for a round with a professional looper at Erin Hills.

Post breakfast spot.

Arriving at The Course

 Pulling up just as the sun was rising allowed me to take care of a few things that I normally would have done in my pre round routine.   This entailed a quick tour of the clubhouse, a pit stop at the restaurant to order and consume the most expensive breakfast sandwich of my life ($22), and then use the lavatory.  The clubhouse was a shrine to the 2017 US Open and the intercollegiate tournaments that it hosted.  The bar and restaurant featured an outdoor patio that made you think you were in a crow’s nest, with a panoramic view of the whole course; I felt like a juvenile Simba in Lion King looking over his new kingdom for the first time.  And lastly the men’s room, which was the most impressive and royal feeling bathroom I ever had the pleasure of using, a literal feeling of sitting on a thrown.  I actually feel like the Erin Hills men’s room deserves its own dedicated blog post.  After this early AM experience, this first impression left me with no doubt that I made the right decision to play this course.

Meeting the Caddy 

After getting my mind and body right at the clubhouse; I headed down to the range to see what I had in me this fine AM.  I grabbed my bag and start hitting a few shots, a dozen or so 8 iron strikes and then right to the driver.  Right after I started to hit my driver, the caddies came out; me and one of my cousins would share the same caddy.  He introduced himself and watched us hit a few shots before he started to inspect our bags.  He took considerable interest in my now vintage (1996) Ping war bag (stay tuned for a future what’s in the bag post), which quickly turned to facial grimaces and muttering of “what the hell does he have in here.”  He then began to count clubs, open pockets, and ask questions like: “do you need all of these balls,” “why do you have so many lighters,” and “do you need” this and that?  It made me feel every bit of the first timer that I was here. He then vanished into the caddy room only to reappear with a translucent bag that he asked me to put everything I would not need today into and I could have it back after the round.  I already had some anxiety about playing with a caddy and this heightened that anxiety level a bit.  We then went up to the putting green and he watched me take some chips and putts before our party was called to the first tee. 

Listen to Your Caddy

We are finally on the first hole, a long par 5 with a girthy fairway and a well-protected green that slides to the left underneath the horizon.  And I actually stripe a massive drive that settles on the left side of the fairway, the furthest of the group.  When we get to my Calloway Chrome Soft (the version with the little Seth Curry heads) the Caddy hands me my 7 iron and starts to describe “the spot” to lay up.  I respectfully ask how far to the center of the green in which I get a reply of “230, but you don’t want to go for it.”  I then asked for my 3 wood and he reluctantly passed it to me with a sigh and a shit ton of bad vibes. I then proceeded to hit a pretty good ball, but too far left and we end up not finding it in the reeds.  My caddy was sour for the next hole or two until I broke the ice and told him I should have listened to him blah blah blah, and then he loosened up to me a little.  I do not regret disregarding his recommendation and going for the epic start to the day, but I was not really prepared to deal with his reaction to it.  I will be ready next time. 

And we are off, just leaving the first tee box.

Caddy Advice

I did eventually settle in to having a caddy and found that his advice was actually helpful.  I think this will vary by caddy, but my caddy was presumably a low handicapper and a full time/full year caddy; summers at Erin Hills and winters at a club in Florida .  I found his caddy career most interesting and actually left myself leaving the course that day thinking that being a full-time caddy would be a fun job, maybe something to try if I ever have a full blown mid-life crisis.  I figure 2 loops a day (4 bags) 5 days a week, 1 loop on a 6th day, and then a full day off.  My quick math comes to about $2200 a week, which seems pretty good, plus it would give me the fully jacked Phil Mickelson calves I always dreamed of. 

Anyways, I found his help most useful on and around the greens, anything that was remotely puttable he advised me to putt (he must have watched my pre round chipping closely) and his green reading did help me hit a couple of long putts.  He also was normally recommending a stronger club on almost every approach that I generally took.  I ended up shooting the Reggie (Reggie White #92) a 50 on the front and a 42 on the back.  The back was highlighted with a birdie on 11 and a par on the infamous 18th hole that felt like a major feat; I went driver, rescue, rescue 2 putt compared to Justin Thomas’s driver, 3 wood, 1 putt birdie. 

Overall, glad I took the time and money to play Erin Hills and if I get an opportunity to play another championship course, I definitely will.  I also think I will be more ready to play a round with a professional looper next time that opportunity presents itself. 

DAWN PATROL - THE EARLY GOLF ROUND ROUTINE

Dawn Patrol

As our lives get busier and busier, we have to get our golf in whenever we can to fit our dynamic schedules; as the late great 2pac Shakur said “Get in where you fit in.”  I have grown to appreciate these early rounds, and one thing that has helped me gain consistency for these dawn patrol rounds is to follow a consistent routine.  I am going to share my routine and see if anyone else can benefit from it like I have. 

The Night Before

There is not much to do the night before, but a few minor details to take care of to set you up for success.  First, make sure you set your alarm with plenty of time to hit snooze at least 3 times.  You will also want to set out your golf gear in the guest bathroom so that you minimize any potential distractions from other members of the household.  No need for any distractions in the AM that could bring random tasks or a barrage of questions thrown your way while you are trying to get out of the house.  Text your golf group that you are excited for the round tomorrow and that you feel good about your prospects of “going low.” 

Up and Ahh-Tom

Roberto’s - Home of the second best breakfast burrito in America.

You awaken to the sweet, sweet melodies of the default ringtone within your iPhone.  You get a quick glance out your bedroom window and with no visible signs of the sun coming up you get inspired to hit your snooze 4 to 5 times instead of the 3 you planned for.   You do eventually get up out of bed, take your shower in the guest bedroom and determine there is plenty of time to get to the course.  However, a quick inner analysis has determined that you do not have time to make any breakfast.  So you begin to move a little quicker, pound your coffee, pop some advil, load the war sticks, and you are out the door.  As you pull out of the driveway, you begin hastily looking on your phone for the most convenient breakfast burrito spot, the more autentico the better.  If you have ever been to Las Vegas off the strip, the spot is most definitely a Roberto’s.  Which is home of the second best breakfast burrito I have ever had.  The best I ever had was in Las Cruces, NM – where a lady made handmade breakfast burritos and sold them out of an out of business gas station until she sold out; I digress.  Next while waiting in the drive thru, text your golf group “runnin late – save me some rangies.”  With Burrito in hand, you scarf it down while finishing your drive to the course.  You have an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment as a quick scan of your shirt reveals no evidence of food or sauce anywhere to be found.  Great Success! 

At The Course

You finally arrive to the course with just enough time to check in and loosen up.  As you check in to the clubhouse; first ask for the senior rate, and after the pro shop attendant denies it; quickly change the subject and ask something stupid like – “what’s the morning dew sitch” or “what ‘s the course record.”  Then, get out of there as fast as you can.  Find your comrades at the range, and disclose why you were running late.  It used be an easy, “I closed Maloney’s last night,” but no one will buy that one anymore; it will have to be something like – “I got to bed super late last night cause I stumbled across Road House (the original) on TNT and then was amped up till like 3 in the morning.” While disclosing this information, take about ten baseball style swings to stretch the back maybe work in a “these old bones” comment; and then step up and hit the balls saved for you.  This will be about 12 drives that are surprisingly well struck, maybe even displaying a baby draw.  Actually, these will be the best drives you hit all day.  Your group is called and you quickly stop on the putting green, drop 3 balls and hit each one once and then head to the tee box to join your group. 

On the Tee:  You and your friends are on the tee box together to sort out the breakfast ball policy and to decide which cash games will be played.  Then you spend the rest of the time critiquing the group in front of you’s swings and pace of play.  You wait till they are damn near on the green and you tee off.  All set to shoot anywhere from an 83-100. 

Hopefully you will find a routine like I have to help reach your peak performance.